For some reason, many of us tie life goals to age—especially our 30s. Society often paints a picture: by 30, you should have a stable career, your life figured out, and maybe even a family. This silent pressure follows people around the world. And if you haven’t hit those benchmarks by then? You might start feeling like you’ve failed.
I didn’t go through a “30s crisis,” but I did experience a deep sense of unhappiness with my work. I was doing what I had always dreamed of—running my own business. But it wasn’t going the way I wanted. I was burnt out and uninspired. Still, I pushed forward because I believed I’d eventually stabilize it. Once that happened, I thought, the passion would return.
But the truth was, I already had a new business idea in mind—one I was truly excited about. The only problem? I was too afraid to start over. I felt stuck, trapped between obligation and fear of failure.
Eventually, I had no choice but to take action. I shut down the business I had worked on for six years. If you ask me if it hurt—honestly, it didn’t. I felt more relieved than anything. I had given so much of myself, and I was just… done. What followed, however, was the real struggle: I had no idea what to do next. I felt like a failure. Everyone else seemed to be settling into their 30s, while my life was taking a completely different path.
Hitting Reset After 30
With the encouragement of my family, I decided to take a one-year break. At first, it was terrifying. I didn’t know what direction to take. I had ideas for a new business—this time as a lifestyle consultant—but I kept telling myself: What if I fail again?
Up until that point, success had always meant setting a goal and achieving it. And I had always done just that—until now. This was the first time I hadn’t reached a goal I had set, and it shook me.
During that break, I reflected deeply—not just on my career, but on what failure actually meant. What I realized completely changed the way I saw my situation.
What Is Failure, Really?
Like many people, I used to define failure as not achieving a specific goal. But now I think real failure is never trying at all—letting fear, self-doubt, or social pressure stop you from taking action. If you try something, give it your all, and it doesn’t work out, that’s not failure. That’s growth.
Sometimes, life doesn’t unfold the way we expect. And that’s okay. If my online fashion brand had succeeded, I may never have had the courage to pursue my dream of becoming a lifestyle consultant. My experience running a business, living abroad, and struggling through uncertainty became the foundation for the work I do now—helping others navigate similar challenges.
Looking back, I was so excited when I started my fashion brand. I launched women’s and children’s collections, and I had plans to expand into swimwear and lingerie. But the pressure of managing everything on my own became overwhelming. Despite that, I refused to quit. I kept pushing, believing that success was just around the corner.
But if it had gone well, I would have become even more work-obsessed and stressed. In hindsight, what looked like failure was actually a redirection. It gave me a second chance—a new beginning.
Rebuilding with Intention
So how do you rebuild after life doesn’t go as planned? How do you turn a setback into a comeback? Here’s what I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from supporting others on theirs:
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Acknowledge the Setback Honestly
The first step is to admit that things didn’t go as expected. Many people try to downplay failure or pretend it doesn’t matter. But denial keeps you stuck.
Instead, be honest with yourself. Allow space to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even heartbroken. It’s okay to grieve the loss of a dream—but don’t let it define you.
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Reframe the Experience
Rather than asking, “Why did this happen to me?”, try asking, “What can I learn from this?” This small shift turns you from a victim of circumstances into an empowered participant in your own life. Every setback carries a lesson—about timing, strategy, mindset, or your true passions.
Let that lesson become the foundation of your comeback.
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Separate Your Identity from the Outcome
You are not your results. You are not your job title, your income, or your last mistake. Too often, we tie our self-worth to outcomes—and when those outcomes don’t go our way, we spiral.
But failure is just an event. It doesn’t define who you are. You are still full of potential and purpose.
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Reflect, Adjust, and Strategize
Reflection is crucial. Look back and ask yourself:
- What did I learn from this experience?
- What warning signs did I miss?
- What would I do differently next time?
Once you have that clarity, use it to adjust your goals, redefine success, and create a new strategy. Comebacks aren’t made by repeating the same actions—they’re made by pivoting with purpose.
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Take Action—Even Small Steps Count
Don’t wait for the perfect plan or the perfect moment. Start small. Progress builds confidence.
Even if you’re unsure, taking one step forward gives you momentum. Whether it’s researching your next career move, talking to someone in your dream field, or simply journaling your thoughts—each step matters.
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Surround Yourself with Real Support
During my break, I met many people who felt like they weren’t “enough.” They were overwhelmed by social media comparisons and cultural expectations. But talking to them helped me realize: None of us really has it all figured out.
Find people who uplift you. Whether it’s friends, family, mentors, or online communities, surrounding yourself with encouragement makes the journey easier—and a lot more fulfilling.
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Rewrite Your Story
You get to decide how this chapter ends. Don’t let one experience shape your entire story. Take back the pen.
Start talking about your setback not as a failure, but as the turning point that led you to something better. Your experience, your resilience, and your decision to move forward—that’s the real comeback story.
Life Doesn’t Have a Timeline
I’ve been living in Rome for 13 years, but with all the changes I’ve gone through recently, I feel like someone who just moved—curious, open, and full of energy. I do research for my clients, support their lifestyle goals, and most importantly, live a life that feels right to me, not just “right” by societal standards.
What I’ve realized through this journey is that life doesn’t follow a script. There’s no deadline for figuring things out. We grow, we change, and we get to start over as many times as we need.
Your Setback Is Not the End
Setbacks are part of life. They shake our plans, test our resilience, and force us to reimagine our future. But they also give us clarity, strength, and a chance to build something even better.
If you’re going through a difficult period right now, take heart: You’re not behind. You’re just at the beginning of something new.
Every setback is a setup for a comeback.
So take a breath, take a step, and keep moving forward.
